Poems for 2015

2nd team League 2 win (August 2105)

Well done to Neil and all the team, a finish like this we could only dream
The players should be held in high regard, as division 2 is very hard
To finish it off at Queens Park, with the lights getting dim and almost dark…
It must of been one hell of a feat to hold your nerve and not get beat

Looking back across the season success has happened for a reason
Play with a smile, enjoy a win, just forget the defeats it’s not a sin
Playing hard and having fun, stick with it and you get to number one
Achieved whilst helping the 3rd team through to stay again in division 2

The seasons over the job is done we are heading off to division one
But Mick will tell you it’s nothing new to be the champs of division 2
He’ll tell you it’s all been done before in 1908 and fifty four
It just been one hell of a wait…. the club hasn’t won a thing since 2008!


Hove A , Hove A …Ooh what a day !!!
Championship points achieved today,
Well done to Neil Dickson ,
And his team ain’t arf won some !!!
Div 1 next year you’ll all surely play


‘Ode from the more mature lady player’ 
Playing tennis over fifty
Is different because you are not so nifty
In your mind you are covering the court
Hitting shot after shot in your tennis skort…
You leap and jump as best you can
And curse your partner, that bloody man!
He hits the ball when you can get it
Makes you grumpy but you shouldn’t let it
Because he has chased down balls all day
The ones that you let get away

Relax and focus on another contests
Like keeping tucked into your lycra vest
Or staying calm when the ball is called out
And giving someone the benefit of doubt
Or stand and stare and rub your eyes
And admit you are a bit surprised
That they were able to see it so well
When you were closer and couldn’t tell
Or maybe they have some special vision
That allows them to see from any position

So don’t lament the passing of age
Or that your knees have seen better days
Embrace the game with a sense of fun
And the knowledge you can no longer run
As you used to many years ago
Before your reflexes were so slow
It not all bad as you will see
When you are as old as me
And wonder what it will be like
When we reach sixty … we’ll still be “alright”

(Sponsored by a couple of our lady players!)

Tennis men!

An ode to the tennis male is in the brew
Hove tennis ladies and I are the crew
To set the record absolutely straight
Coz come on – your having a laugh mate
You jump and shout and miss the balls
You shake your fists and give bad calls
We classy ladies have to put up with a lot
And still effortlessly make the shot!



The AGMs now over for another year

Listening hard to understand whilst trying to drink a beer

Captains found for each team with little procrastination

Taking up their roles with only limited persuasion

What a disappointment – that’s what AGMs are all for

Watching Mick apply the thumbscrew until the victim shouts  “No more, I’ll do it”


Balls to Membership

It’s been the same price for 20 years, surely that can’t be right

To play a game of tennis on a Monday and Friday night

That small amount of money, it truly is amazing

Has Paul been using recycled balls to make that super saving?

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